1
I changed the name of this newsletter to Vantablack, the darkest black that absorbs light by being made up of not pigment, but teeny tiny carbon tubes(!), then I thought again and changed it to a few other things, then I put some words into a random word generator and got Seed-Shaped Seed, which felt a bit more playful and positive, if absurd.
I will keep changing it with increased frequency!!!!
Collaboration with Machine served me well, but times have changed and so must newsletter names. Collaboration with Machine started to feel sinister… to make me think of tech and nazis. Those associations (even if only for me) have no place here!
Nigella seeds, on the other hand, which are also a deep, matte black, produce beautiful flowers, and also go by the name, Love-In-A-Mist.
2
Tech and nazis. Sigh. Briahna Joy Gray, a lawyer and former Press Secretary for the Bernie Sanders campaign, does a good job of clarifying the relationship between these things (and others) on her podcast, Bad Faith.
3
Certain people around me have been wanting to change their life in order to do things to “help the community” in various ways. It’s interesting to listen as people try to sort out what this means, moving from the abstract to the specific. It seems hard to fit desires and skills to the imagined needs of others without being super detailed about this fantasy. The concept of “help” in the abstract can often come from a desire for control, possibly stemming from a world in which we feel totally out of control and powerless. Who can blame anyone for feeling this way? I hope organized mutual aid and many more radical forms of resistance, care and creative innovation come from this desire. We are already seeing it…
Mutual aid doesn’t have to be this abstract, grandiose, system-wide event. Or a Go-Fund-Me. Last week I walked my elderly neighbor’s dog for her while she recovered from an injury and the ground was icy. (She surprised me with a bag of frozen Maine lobster tails and some crampons for my boots!) Some friends are planning events at our local public library. Another started a karaoke party to benefit local charities. Others are organizing around the policies at the public school so they better reflect the needs of our community and support the students. Friends in NYC are going door to door for Zohran Mamdani.
It’s all really wonderful and good, but here’s the thing people may forget: participating in mutual aid like this can be annoying, because people are annoying! The people you meet when you do this kind of stuff aren’t all your BFFS. You might make some friends! But mutual aid usually happens IRL with random people. It’s the opposite of the algorithm, which is why it’s so enlivening. Nothing is curated for your taste: there’s inevitable friction. That’s why it’s great AND why it’s annoying. Friction is life! Life is annoying! Death is comfortable!
Sartre had just finished a school board meeting when he wrote Hell is other people. But I’d rather be here in hell with you, trying to make it slightly better. As David Byrne says, Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
Performance invitation!
I will be performing music with some friends next Friday night at the Half Moon in Hudson.
Hope you can make it! It is my birthday. I love my birthday because it is the first FULL day of spring, at least that I recognize. I’m always grateful that I was born with so many spunky spring babes.
Flyer by Michael Bell-Smith